NEEDLES & OLIVES - List of 10

The 10 Things I Hated About Being At Netcare Olivedale

1. Loss of control of my schedule. I'm not a planner, but I'm a controller and not being in charge of exactly what time I'm seeing a person sends me into a spiral. Doctors don't make appointments at the hospital. They come as they come.

2. Multiple people having access to my body, all at once. I have lived with just my son for 12 years. We don't touch people. We just exist. Being pricked, probed, pushed, turned, stretched... touched, was unnerving and invasive.

3. Having to be a brat about getting a window-side bed, because my anxiety and claustrophobia are a reality. Plus, I can't sleep with closed windows.

4. The lower standard of custard from 2021/21. This was a travesty. That is the last thing you eat every night. It tasted like heartbreak and looked motherless. Depressing. Netcare needs to hold EMPACT to a higher standard. There's a lot of wastage with inedible vegetables. In a country like ours, this should be a crime.

5. Re-explaining my symptoms more than thrice on the day of admission. Why does that info not travel to every department that touches a patient?

6. Paranoia around getting the correct chronic meds (I already take 9 pills to keep my heart and lungs functional, daily) every morning, in addition to whatever treatment I'm getting from being in hospital. Nurses got this wrong twice. The fear is real. My blood pressure can shoot up to 180/120 faster than loadshedding schedule changes. This triggers a chain reaction that can delete me from the population. 

7. Sharing a (very clean) bathroom with complete strangers for days on end. Until I was in isolation, where my bratty self was delighted with the bathroom setup. I blame my gran who treated me like an egg in my formative years. 

8. Being the welcoming and farewell committee. Seeing people come in. Making friends with them. Seeing them leave as their doctor promised because their organs are cooperating with treatment. 

9. The "you're still here" comments from innocent souls (nurses, porters, refreshment officers) who know me as a clown, and do not realise how brutal those words are at the time. Bless them. They mean no harm. 

10. The custard!

Things I Loved About Being At Netcare Olivedale 

1. Bra-less every day. In public. No one judging me because human nature is already causing them to worry more about me being a patient.

2. Loadshedding for who? 

3. Not having to make the bed, but sleeping in crisp sheets every night. 

4. Free, unintentional oxygen facial therapy. 

5. The meals were horrible, but not having to decide on dinner was great, Plus water supply on my bedside at all times. 

6. Getting help when I have felt too sick to continue walking. 

7. Smiling nurses who feel free to joke about my situation. Absolute gems. It made for a lighter stay.

8. Learning that it's fine to not know the day's agenda. It's fine to not have an agenda at all. It's okay to shower at 13:00. 

9. The antiseptic skin cleanser. I haven't used my beauty products for 2 weeks and my skin is on a different plane of existence. I didn't think anything was better for my skin than the Sunlight green bar I use at home. 

10. Dr F. Skosana! Pulmonologist extraordinaire. Lung wizard. Perfectionist. Physician. Saved my life twice before, and brought me back from the brink again.