Okay. This is where I unpeel.
I've dragged you into my journey with health. You cheer me on, but you're not 100% sure what's going on. So here's a laundry list with a timeliness. Hopefully it will make certain sense.
1. Buckle up.
2006 - Pregnancy. Hypertension. Snoring. Acid reflux.
2007 onwards - Getting higher doses of hypertension medications and being told to lose weight. Medical apathy.
2018 - Iron deficiency started showing up. I was not aware, until later.
mid-2019 - Breathing difficulties manifest at odd times. Started on steroids. Important to remember.
2019 - Enlarged heart detected.
2029 (Dec) - Personal paranoia about SARSCOV2 hits high inside me. Causing me to be a hermit ahead of the lockdown.
Feb 2020 - Asthma diagnosis. Fear of COVID19 contraction escalates.
March 2020 - The cardiomegaly continues (fancy way of saying, “Your heart's too big and not in a good way.)
2020 - Partaking in the collective insanity.
2021 August - Vaccinated against COVID19
2021 28, September - I attend a wedding. I dance. I come out with a swollen body the next day. I totally deserved that.
2021, 29 September - Reports swollen body to GP.
2021, 30 September- At the back of an ambulance, making stupid jokes about sudden death while blood oxygen is hovering below 70.
2. Destination
Reached the hospital.
Everyone's first thought: COVID19, Delta variant. She's a gonner (fat, looks diabetic, has hypertension, the works). I was ready.
COVID19 test results: negative. Twice.
—
Okay. What next?
Pulmonary embolism! Maybe! Okay, let's find the blood clot. It's got to be here somewhere. Let's pump blood thinners, while we search.
Call the cardiologist!
Yes!
He declares heart failure. Right side of heart has given up the jam. Amen. We have answers. But something else is amiss.
Call all the physicians!
Too many hands on the pot!
Eventually, call Dr Skosana. A pulmonologist with a passion for more than just functional lungs. I will go down talking about this physician's excellence.
Clarity ensues.
Calm.
I did not like his bedside manner. But something about him gave me confidence. I'm happy.
With a fine-toothed comb, came a process of elimination and addition.
Acid reflux - problem to the lungs over the years. Dirty. Very dirty silent disorder. This was tested with a fancy platform scan. I recommend.
“All blood” tests to test hormones and other possible ailments.
Sleep study - Yes, I have severe sleep apnea. This affects my oxygen blood levels and my general wakefulness in the day. It affects my weight fluctuation too.
Diastolic dysfunction. Cardiac failure will always be a result of any exacerbation of other ailments. Something that I would learn the tough way.
Days passed in hospital. Hopeless eyes greeted me from COVID-fatigued nurses, to a pulmonologist who was frustrated from not having found the answers.
An angiogram was performed as a last resort. It was proving difficult to treat all of the ailments at once. There were clear contraindications to the medicines I had been provided. The angiogram would, additionally, remove the idea of clogged arteries, as that goes to be expected from a fat patient such as I was. This was a call that the cardiologist made, for the sake of clarity for the future, even though he darn well told me that he knew he'd find nothing. Oh, Dr. Goldberg. A tough teddy bear.
The angiography procedure deserves its own full book.
Invasive procedure. Life-altering. Brain shifting.
So. The final laundry list was:
Pulmonary hypertension (fancy lung BP. Not your usual.)
Diastolic dysfunction
Sleep apnea
GERD - gastro-esophageal reflux disease
All these come together to form a daily weapon against me. It is exhausting.
3. Timeline continues
2022 March - COVID19 eventually visits me (after the end of lockdown, naturally, in my embarrassing life).
2023 August - Acute heart failure, pneumonia.
2024 April - Acute heart failure. Pneumonia. Respiratory failure.
2024 July/Aug - Acute heart failure. No clear cause.
Stunned.
—-
I take blood thinners, water pills, steroids, supplements and other unpronounceable meds.
My other body organs have been invited to a party they don't fancy. So now they're fighting back.
Pancreas is tired of the bullying from the cortisone steroids. The insulin is crying at the back of the room, and the endometriosis and fibroids are feeling neglected, so daily pain is cranked up.
Type 2 diabetes has entered the room like a liquid bully, here to help everyone, but really just wants access to all the sweet stuff.
Water pills? Oh, yeah, that's to avoid fluid build-up which eventually leads to heart failure. Hello GOUT!
Related to heart failure and hypertension, but exacerbated by the fact that I urinate all the great minerals out of my body to protect the heart. This gout leaves tiny little knives to… you know what, please research gout. Enjoy.
Gout is a little monster on your big toe and should count as a severe ER emergency. That is all.
4. Anew
2024, 9 August - I am leaving the hospital with my old set of the big 4, plus 2 extra pets to take care of.
I'm happy that I have that clarity.
I am going on a weight loss journey that has nothing to do with my self-esteem and aesthetics.
I'm going on a weight elimination journey, to give my heart a chance to beat freely. To reverse the T2 diabetes, to slay the gout, and to chase the ice cream truck.
I want to hike with my dog again, without the fear of death. I want to be resentful about going to the gym because I'm lazy, not because I'm scared that my heart rate will reach a point of disaster.
Our bodies are miraculous. Able to hurt and heal at will. Sometimes with a bit of help. Usually confusing.
I am fatigued from the medical nightmare of the last few years. Coming into the hospital often, and having a personal relationship with your GP because she knows your lungs so well has a way of stealing your dignity.
Still.
I am lucky.
I get to heal.
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