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Me? Stressed? Never.

It's day 5 at the hospital. I had to count that on my fingers. I don't know what time is, at this point. 

I've had a C. T. scan, collapsed forearm veins. A misfire on vein flushing, plus donating a river of blood to the floor; a doctor whose voice might be better suited as an announcer at large crowd gatherings and the return of my very own doctor.

Phew. Finally. Some real medical care. My doc ordered a cross section scan so that he can see in full 3D what's going on. 

It's nasty. My ears are still ringing from that conversation, because it sounded to me like I'm walking by miracle. I don't like miracles. They're unstable.

This is how the conversation went,  more or less. 

Doctor: G, this is gonna be a long ride. I need one thing from you. 
Me: Sure, doc. Anything. 
Doc: I need you to relax and remain calm. I need time to fix this. 
•••
My brain: Who's this? Does he know us? Does he have the authority to say this? 🧐
My spleen: Oh no. Oh no. I'm just a worm. This is too much. 😫
My heart: What did he say?! 😠 He said WHAT?  
My feet: I'm carrying us out of here. This is uncalled for. 
Me (with a smile): Oh yeah, sure, doc. I can do that. Yeah anyway,  how long is "time"
Doc: Gugz, let me show you a cross section of your scan.
°°°° shows me a disaster chest scan °°°

My heart: Ha! That's not me in this photo. Lol. I'm not a failure. What do you say I failed? Rude! 
My lungs: 🤕 Guys, shut up, okay. If I fill up with more gunk, you'll all stop talking. 😵‍💫
Stomach: We're gonna need good food.
Tongue: Cheesecake! 

Doctor (still explaining): blah blah fishpaste. 
Me: Yeah, yes doc. Thank you. I'll relax a lot. Look, I'm relaxing now. 🙂

First thought: my son is alone at home again. He'll starve himself because he'd rather eat noodles than roast some chicken. Oh there's food in the house. But it must be cooked and that's the problem.
Also, my son is alone at home! I'm calm. 💀

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